Just Tell me what you think, that’s all I ask.
Chapter 1
New Kids
If someone randomly walked up to you one day and whispered in you ear as they passed that they didn’t kill your best friend, you might be a little scared; am I right?
This is exactly what happened to me on what should have been an ordinary December morning, and yes, I was terrified. I soon came to realize that my world was never and would never be, ordinary. Nothing like this ever happens to other people. For some strange reason beyond explanation, unnatural stuff always tends to target me.
It all started on my last normal morning. It was mid November, the 21st to be exact (my birthday). The air was cold and brutal. Everyone in school was wearing sweaters, sweatpants, jeans, basically anything to keep warm. There were, of course, a few slutty girls who didn’t care whether or not they were cold, just that they looked good. I was all for cheating the dress code but they were a little extreme. I was in homeroom waiting for my best friend in the entire universe, Marissa, to come in. She was one of those girls with bright pink hair and had the personality of someone who didn’t care what the hell other people said about them so long as they enjoyed themselves. Know that type?
If you do, don’t judge them. They are amazing in their own special ways; most of those ways involving dirty minds and strange, evil laughs.
We officially met on our 6th grade field trip to Caramoor. She was in my homeroom then too. That day was insanely hot, and it was making us all sweat like crazy and smell horrible. Everyone was complaining and moaning about how they didn’t want to be there. We had been on this trip for three times in a row now. We passed a big patch of weeds that had strayed out of the forest, slinking out of the damp trees towards us. Marissa pointed to the weeds and shouted out, “LOOK MARIJUANA!” Everyone burst out laughing. Later, I cornered her and told her how gutsy that was for her to say.
“Really?” She said. “Everyone always ignores me. They think I’m weird.”
“I think you’re amazing!”
And so we became friends.
Anyway, back to the school day. Marissa ran into the classroom and handed me a small black box with a blood red bow tied around it.
“Here, here!” She squealed excitedly. “Happy Birthday, Holly! Open it, open it!”
I grinned at her and tore at the ribbon, carefully pulling off the lid. Inside was a diamond shaped necklace, dark blue at the top and fading to a light aquamarine at the bottom. A delicate face was carved into it, its eyes closed, its lips curved up ever so slightly. It was attached to an old fashioned long black leather cord, it was stunning.
“Ohmigod!” I whispered, speechless. I looked up at her anticipating expression. I tested to see how strong it was, pulling on the sting. I got up from my desk and handed the necklace to her, moving my hair from my neck so she understood what I wanted, I was still stunned. She tied the cord around my neck and let go, it landed right were my v-necked shirt began. I took the charm in my palm and examined it from every angle, finally getting my breath back; I tilted my head back up to Marissa and smiled so wide my jaw started to hurt. “Ohmigod! Marissa! It’s amazing! Thank you!” My voice was so loud I was almost screaming. I put my arms around her, grabbing her in a gigantic bear hug. Again I held the charm in my palm, noticing how cold it felt. “It must have cost a fortune” I said frowning; I didn’t like the idea of her spending so much money on me. “Where’d you buy it?”
“The thrift store down in Tarrytown. Some old guy sold it to me really cheap. He seemed eager to get rid of it, in fact. I cant imagine why. It is fabulous.” She smiled like she had just won the lottery.
Just as I was about to thank her again, they came in. The teachers had told us that there were four new students coming. Everyone had been anticipating the day when they arrived, but nobody had known the exact date. So, when they walked in, nobody was prepared.
I swear to God if there had been entrance music the song probably would have been Cruella Devil. The boy about to leave the classroom stepped aside and opened the door wider for them; his eyes glazed over as the one wearing a black fedora hat blew him a kiss.
The one farthest to the right was tall, slender, and had an hourglass figure. She had long, flowing blonde curls for hair; it reached all the way to her non-existent waist. She wore a brown corduroy mini-miniskirt and white tights with brown knitted boots. She had a pink and white striped, tight-fitted, long-sleeved top on. Her eyes were wide, innocent, and a strange bright purple color. She was smiling brightly and giggling to herself.
The girl on the left was tall too, with light brown pin-straight hair that hung slightly past her shoulders and bangs that made her look like a shaggy dog, a very pretty shaggy dog. She had the same hourglass figure as the other. Sh
She wore sky blue jeans, a skimpy black sweater, and combat boots which came just below the knee. Her eyes too, were purple and she had what looked like a permanent scowl slapped across her face. She glared down at the floor.
The two girls in the middle seemed to be the leaders of the group. The one on the right was the shortest of all, but still flawlessly beautiful. She had shoulder-length shiny hair that flipped up on the tips and was as black as night. She was sporting exquisite purple eyes. She wore a white miniskirt and a tight black and white striped long shirt on. She wore knee high black convers. On her head, tipped slightly to the side, was a fedora hat the exact shade of her hair.
The last was the tallest of the group. She was so thin that she looked like she would snap in two if you touched her yet she carried herself in a way that made you want to cower in a corner. Her hair was bright red, like flames, held in pigtails. She had a strange, faint, V-shaped scar underne
She had a strange, faint, V-shaped scar underneath her dark blue eyes, on her left cheek. She wore a yellow sundress, even though it was freezing outside, imprinted with lots of white roses, and green wedge shoes. She had painted her toenails the colors of the rainbow.
They all seemed to walk in slow motion, and the entire classroom was stunned speechless for a moment. The teacher was just as stunned as the rest of us, though he was probably just wondering why the hell his class went absolutely silent when two seconds before he could not get them to shut up. The room was silent for a second more, and than the whispering started as the flame haired girl whispered something to the black haired one. Then the black haired one did something you only saw in movies. She laughed, that girlish bubbly laugh, and flipped her hair over her shoulder in slow motion while the flame girl giggled and smiled angelically.
“Uh-oh,” Marissa said, her eyes widening in mock horror.
“What’s wrong?” I a
“What’s wrong?” I asked curiously.
She turned to look at me, sarcastic terror painted across her face, her eyes sparkling with laughter. “They’re here!” She imitated the little girl, Carol Anne, from the movie Poltergeist.
We both laughed and watched as the four girls approached Mr. Lynch, our homeroom and social studies teacher, who was still looking confused. The one wearing the Fedora handed him a pink slip.
“Hi,” She said, her voice sounded like a symphony. “My name is Sari, this is Celine,” –She pointed to the girl on the far left who looked ready to murder him- “Bliss,” –she pointed to the blond haired girl on the far right- “And my twin, Salena.” She pointed to the last girl beside her, the other leader. Salena curtsied low to Mr. Lynch, ducking her head. Mr. Lynch looked confused but his eyes sparkled with pride. Lynch may have been fooled by Salena but all the students seemed to read the sarcasm on her face. “We’re new here. Would you mind showing us our seats?”
Mr
Mr. Lynch frowned at them, obviously displeased that they were interrupting his big homeroom lecture, apparently we should be using our homeroom time more carefully not “gabbing” with our friends. He seemed ready to scold them, but then his eyes seemed to loose focus and instead he just silently pointed to there seats. There seats, the four empty seats directly behind Marissa and me.
“Ew,” Marissa said in a stage whisper, so that the whole room could hear. “What kind of names are those?”
Sari, who was still looking at Mr. Lynch, turned very slowly towards Marissa, an angelic smile upon her face. For some reason that smile left me with uneasy felling in the pit of my stomach. It was the kind of smile you used when you were hiding something. I would know, I used them often an of at home but… What would a new kid need that kind of smile For? What would they have to hide? Sari’s symphony of a voice brought me back from my brainstorming. “And what’s you’re name?” She asked sweetly.
Ma
Marissa folded her arms over her chest and leaned back on her chair. “Marissa.”
“Oh, what a pretty name!” Sari squealed in delight. She met eyes with Salena who giggled beside her. “In our hometown, Marissa, means ‘bitter cow’.” Sari and Selena said in unison.
“What a wonderful name!” Bliss said sarcastically, in a babyish, soprano voice. Celine cackled and then returned to her dead pan stare at the ground.
The girls walked in slow motion to their seats. Marissa scoffed to herself. I knew she was embarrassed, but I didn’t say anything. I knew one thing for sure;
Marissa was going to get rid of them, no matter what, even if she got expelled. I just hoped she knew what she was doing.
I like your writing. It’s got a clean flow. I like how you show and not just tell. But, it does read a bit like a journal of a teenage girl. If that is what you are going for, then great! If not I would suggest using your thesaurus to keep from repeating certain words. I do enjoy the descriptiveness of your writing as well.
Please keep writing! Honing your talent only works if you have the tenacity to give it a go everyday.
TIP: If you are getting frustrated with a piece your working on, put it in a drawer, or don’t look at it for weeks. Then go back and read over it as if you didn’t write it. It works wonders for getting a new perspective!
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