To find clarity in the middle of an estrangement, in your case you want to get your ex boyfriend back, it is helpful to do an internal assessment of where things stand right now. In your particular situation to get ex boyfriend back; write down several statements that characterize it: “I haven’t talk to my ex boyfriend in six months. I am scared to call him and think he may be feeling too proud to call me. The last time I saw him, at my friend’s birthday, I felt terribly awkward and anxious. Or every time I try to talk to him, I feel like I am walking on egg shells because he is clearly angry and he won’t tell me why.”
Next, make a list of all the complaints you have about your ex boyfriend. Begin with the big things: The emotional scars he left on you when he would flirt with other women, his shocking betrayals and so forth. If your complaints are smaller don’t let that stop you. Whatever it was that bothered you about your ex boyfriend write it down: the fact that he shows up late when you make a date to spend time together, the way he talks with his mouth full of food, the mean stupid tricks he played on you when you needed a special time of trusted consolation.
Once you have exhausted all the resentments, you carry with you as baggage, take a stab at your own regrets—the things you wish you had said or done differently with your ex boyfriend. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you when your mother was ill.” “I’m sorry I got angry at you for not showing up on time for our date, I wish I had waited.” “I wish I had come with you to your school reunion.”
Taking stock in this way can help you see the old baggage you may be still be carrying in regard to your ex boyfriend and sometimes it levels the playing field.
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